Divorce process is always a difficult time for couples, but while these ones are grown up adults being able to confront with this situation in a better manner, not the same can be said about their children. This should be an issue to concern both of the parents as they have no former training in dealing with these sorts of situations. The first steps into this are to let your children know about the divorce, an act that should depend largely on the age your children have. You can not approach the matter with a seven years old child the same way you discuss with a college teenager.
But regardless of the age, there are some general things that you have to take into account when reaching to make your child understand what is going allowing them take easier the divorce news:
- First of all, let your child know that they are not to be blamed for the divorce decision.
- Try to keep the same life routine it used to be before the divorce stepped in.
- Give time to your child to get used to the idea (even get angry if they feel this way) allowing them to ask questions when they need to. Be honest with your answers and if possible include your partner as well in these discussions.
- Do not use your children as your confidants turning them into listening posts.
- Do not get them involved in the financial matters as they should feel secure while crossing the period of divorce.
- Let the school teacher know about this moment in your child’s life as you should be addressed to had any change in child’s behavior occurred.
- If you get involved in a relationship do not introduce this person to your children unless you are sure that this one would be part of your life for a long period of time.
- Prove your child that you are still part of their extracurricular activities as well as keeping in touch with school functions even if you do not live any more in the same house.
- Do not attempt to buy your child’s love with plenty of gifts as to them is more important to spend more time with them than spending money on them.
- Draw a plan together with your soon to be ex-spouse in order to have the chance to go on with parenting even if you are not around any more. Also agree on the way your child will continue their daily living such as scheduling properly their bedtime, discipline routine, time spent by the computer, and so on.
- What is the most important: do not ever criticize your spouse in front of your child.
You should always put your child’s power of healing first taking in to account the fact that they do not have this on their own, therefore needing strong positions on your behalf. Always ensure them of your love and support to allow them cross this period with a peaceful of mind and serenity so that they won’t get traumatized for the future.