Part 9
12.06.2020 By divorcemarriage 0

Part 8

Regardless of your situation, there still is hope,
even if you are the only one who wants
to try to save your marriage…

   One of the most frequent problems that Dr. Gunzburg comes across is spouses who think their situation is unique because their spouse won’t agree to do any counseling or because their circumstances are just so strange…

…they either don’t think there is a problem or they simply don’t want to do anything about it.

  As you are about to find out, fortunately there is a way to save your relationship or marriage, even if your spouse won’t actively cooperate and attend counseling sessions with you.

 

Did you know that more marriages die of neglect than of physical abuse, affairs, and addiction?

As serious as those issues are, none is as detrimental to a marriage’s longevity as neglect. Ignore your spouse’s needs long enough and you will end up alone.

Start now or it may be too late.

Dr. Gunzburg puts taking your spouse for granted at the top of his love-destroyer list.

On the other hand, when you stop taking your spouse for granted, and start paying attention to his or her needs, many of the things that used to irritate your spouse, such as an annoying habit of interrupting, might go unnoticed.

Dr. Gunzburg says that it is common for people to tell him, “I don’t even notice all the things that used to bug me about my husband (wife) because I feel more loved.”

So, let’s put this last statement from Dr. Gunzburg into perspective.

Even if your spouse refuses to go to counseling with you and won’t actively cooperate, you can begin to start healing the wounds by taking care of your spouse’s needs.

Using this technique allows you to “slip under the marriage counseling radar” and start fixing things.

Here’s why.

The most likely reason that your spouse won’t participate is because the thought of going to a marriage counselor might seem demoralizing … as though he or she has been defeated in life and is admitting it.

So, in that scenario, the best strategy is to pull your spouse closer to you as much as possible by tending to his or her needs first; not directly butting heads with them.

Doing so warms them up, lowers their defenses and starts the healing process … all because it’s done in an indirect way.

So the question to ask yourself if you are seeking to save your marriage but your spouse doesn’t want to help out is:  What can I do to meet his or her needs, even if it means sacrificing your own for the short-term?


Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D.

A long-time and seasoned marriage counselor with a Ph.D. in Counseling from American University at Washington, D.C., Dr. Frank Gunzburg is one of the country’s foremost practitioners in the field of marriage counseling.

In fact, his therapeutic style is unique.

Drawing from the works of many of this century’s greatest thinkers, Dr. Gunzburg combines this broad depth of thought and style with decades of direct clinical experience. His approach is uniquely helpful.

As a counselor with such a broad palette, and a strong background of practical and philosophical experience, Dr. Gunzburg brings you the insights you can only get from an upper-echelon counselor.

“When my husband and I were suffering serious marital problems, Dr. Gunzburg was pivotal in helping us figure out what we wanted our relationship and our lives to be. He helped us learn how to listen, to appreciate each other, and repair our marriage. Without Dr. Gunzburg’s help, I’m convinced we’d be divorced today instead of happier than ever.”— K.N., Multimedia Developer, Silver Spring, MD