|If you’re not quite sure…
Ok, it’s time for me to say some things here, man to man. While times are definitely changing, it’s still true that most marriages end because us men can’t control our sex drives and we go off and have an affair. If that is the case with you, do me one favor before you allow your marriage to end this way. Look yourself in the mirror, make the hard decision, end the affair and turn all of your energy towards saving your marriage. Remember your wife and your relationship with her as it was when you first met her. Try to find a way to fix things with her, work out your problems and re-commit to staying with her. This isn’t going to be easy. You’ve taken a lover to fill the “gaps” in your relationship with your wife, but have you really given your wife a chance to fill those gaps? Does she even know what you need? Have you applied yourself to fixing your marriage with as least as much commitment as you apply to your career? If your boss walked in tomorrow and said “You’ve got six months to whip your ass into shape or your fired!” wouldn’t you totally focus yourself and apply every ounce of your energy to keeping your job? You should be even more worried about losing your marriage.
Divorce isn’t a solution, especially to the problems we think we’re solving through infidelity. You may have yourself convinced that this “other woman” is the one who’ll make you a happy man forever, but ask yourself this — how will she ever truly trust and respect you when she knows you’re someone who cheats on his wife. And what about your kids? What’ll they think about their dad as they grow up, knowing he left mom for another woman? What I’m trying to say is that in many cases, us men divorce our wives without giving them and ourselves a real chance to succeed as a couple. It’s not your fault, we’re wired differently than women. Our needs are physical, theirs emotional. But believe it or not, there is a way for both of you to get your needs met, if you’ll learn some new skills and practice them as if your life depended on them.